just jesus.

A few weeks ago I had a dream
something that I've been meaning to journal about, but just haven't gotten around to it
now that my computer is back and running, I'm finally doing it


it was one of those dreams
ya know, the ones
they seem so real you don't even realize it didn't happen
things are hazy and yet so unbelievably clear


in my dream I was above the earth...in heaven, I think
I don't know if I had died or what, but I was in heaven
and I was looking down
on my life, other peoples' lives
watching people go to college and pursue careers


in my dream, I saw the pursuits of this life for what they truly are: fading
suddenly, I was able to see things in light of eternity
all of the things people were spending their lives on suddenly seemed to insignificant
it was as if my eyes had been opened
I had experienced something so much more real
and nothing else compared


I've been thinking about my dream a lot lately
how temporary and fading this life is
how the temporary discomforts are nothing compared to the beauty of my God
this process of being refined is for such a greater good than I could imagine


so I'm trying to learn to submit to the process
to be open
teachable
humble


killing this pride of mine is such a difficult process
it rears its ugly head more often than I would like to admit
but when my flesh tried to rise up and defend myself
I'm fighting to humble myself
to admit when I'm wrong
to embrace correction instead of run from it


the process is hard
it hurts
but it's good
I'm learning to trust that He is good....ALWAYS
His intentions and purposes towards me are good
I can trust Him


He is all that matters
nothing else
nobody else


.just jesus.