It has been entirely too long since I was one here last. I often think about different blogs I'd like to write and even spell them out in my mind...but never quite make it on here. I follow many blogs and I've lost count of how many times I've read vows to write more often only to be followed by a similar post months later.
But alas, that's what I'm doing here. I may not change the world with my blog (that would require much more talent and consistency than I possess) but I need an outlet to express the stirrings of my heart.
******
Now to the point of today.
We live in a culture fascinated with love and romance. Marriage and family. I can already feel the eye rolls from my fellow 20 or 30-something singles out there. But stick with me, it's going to get better.
Aside from living in a culture permeated by marriage, I am part of a [truly incredible] church family that believes in fighting for marriage. Due to the fact that we are in a military community, our divorce rates are significantly higher than the average city (I've heard it quoted as high at 92%). Given this trend, there are countless people who walk through our church doors hurting, with their marriage crumbling around them. Our pastors truly have a heart to see this turned around...they pray and intercede for marriages more than most people will ever know. They do marriage sermon series twice a year, host marriage conferences and are constantly [it seems] counseling multiple couples at once.
Praise God for this heart! Marriage was God's idea and He is passionate about marriages that thrive and advance His kingdom.
However, as an older single person, it's easy to feel as though I'm a little lost in the mix. Not yet married but not a young college student either. There are plenty of people to try and set me up (no, thanks) and praying for God to bring my husband (they're clearly not praying hard enough) but where exactly do I fit in?
For so long, every time there would be more talk about marriage or prayer for marriages, one of two things would happen (depending on my state of mind that day). I would either 1) check out completely because my singleness was too painful that day or 2) agree with those prayers and believe for God to restore the broken. As a child of divorced parents, I never had a hard time petitioning God for marriages to be saved.
One day, though, it all changed.
As someone was praying for marriages, God challenged me: Why aren't you fighting for your marriage?
After I realized He actually was talking to me and hadn't confused me with somebody else, the way I saw everything changed completely. And hasn't gone back.
I know that there are countless churches who have ministered to multiple couples and have seen impossible situations turned around. However, I've come to realize something incredible important:
If we are going to be a body that is passionate about fighting for marriage, we must be a body who is passionate about fighting for singles.
As a [nearly] 27-year old single woman, my marriage is constantly under attack. The enemy knows the power of marriage, the unity that happens when two people come together in the closes bond possible this side of heaven. And he does anything and everything he can to break the bond before it even forms. I see this evidence as I process hurts I have endured and the brokenness of living in a fallen world. My experience fights to tell me that it's not worth it. That the pain and risk will never be worth the benefits of loving and entering into the sacred covenant known as marriage. It tells me that I am fine on my own and there is absolutely nothing I need from anyone else, let alone a man.
I saw the evidence this weekend. I attended my first singles conference this past weekend and on Saturday morning all of the women were together having a Q & A session with the speaker. As women stood and opened painful parts of their lives, I saw how diligently the enemy has fought against marriage. They spoke of past experiences and mistakes and fear and rejection and isolation. All of these feelings directed at relationships.
The enemy attacks our marriage long before we lay eyes on our spouse. Marriages are broken because they are made up of broken people.
I refuse to let my marriage fall prey to the enemy. I desire to see a community of people- married and single alike- rise up and fight for us single people. To fight for our minds and our hearts and our marriages. That these prayers would be evident as we enter into this most holy union; that we would be marked and set apart.
I am single [for now].
But I represent a marriage.
I represent a family.
That family is fought for.
But alas, that's what I'm doing here. I may not change the world with my blog (that would require much more talent and consistency than I possess) but I need an outlet to express the stirrings of my heart.
******
Now to the point of today.
We live in a culture fascinated with love and romance. Marriage and family. I can already feel the eye rolls from my fellow 20 or 30-something singles out there. But stick with me, it's going to get better.
Aside from living in a culture permeated by marriage, I am part of a [truly incredible] church family that believes in fighting for marriage. Due to the fact that we are in a military community, our divorce rates are significantly higher than the average city (I've heard it quoted as high at 92%). Given this trend, there are countless people who walk through our church doors hurting, with their marriage crumbling around them. Our pastors truly have a heart to see this turned around...they pray and intercede for marriages more than most people will ever know. They do marriage sermon series twice a year, host marriage conferences and are constantly [it seems] counseling multiple couples at once.
Praise God for this heart! Marriage was God's idea and He is passionate about marriages that thrive and advance His kingdom.
However, as an older single person, it's easy to feel as though I'm a little lost in the mix. Not yet married but not a young college student either. There are plenty of people to try and set me up (no, thanks) and praying for God to bring my husband (they're clearly not praying hard enough) but where exactly do I fit in?
For so long, every time there would be more talk about marriage or prayer for marriages, one of two things would happen (depending on my state of mind that day). I would either 1) check out completely because my singleness was too painful that day or 2) agree with those prayers and believe for God to restore the broken. As a child of divorced parents, I never had a hard time petitioning God for marriages to be saved.
One day, though, it all changed.
As someone was praying for marriages, God challenged me: Why aren't you fighting for your marriage?
After I realized He actually was talking to me and hadn't confused me with somebody else, the way I saw everything changed completely. And hasn't gone back.
I know that there are countless churches who have ministered to multiple couples and have seen impossible situations turned around. However, I've come to realize something incredible important:
If we are going to be a body that is passionate about fighting for marriage, we must be a body who is passionate about fighting for singles.
As a [nearly] 27-year old single woman, my marriage is constantly under attack. The enemy knows the power of marriage, the unity that happens when two people come together in the closes bond possible this side of heaven. And he does anything and everything he can to break the bond before it even forms. I see this evidence as I process hurts I have endured and the brokenness of living in a fallen world. My experience fights to tell me that it's not worth it. That the pain and risk will never be worth the benefits of loving and entering into the sacred covenant known as marriage. It tells me that I am fine on my own and there is absolutely nothing I need from anyone else, let alone a man.
I saw the evidence this weekend. I attended my first singles conference this past weekend and on Saturday morning all of the women were together having a Q & A session with the speaker. As women stood and opened painful parts of their lives, I saw how diligently the enemy has fought against marriage. They spoke of past experiences and mistakes and fear and rejection and isolation. All of these feelings directed at relationships.
The enemy attacks our marriage long before we lay eyes on our spouse. Marriages are broken because they are made up of broken people.
I refuse to let my marriage fall prey to the enemy. I desire to see a community of people- married and single alike- rise up and fight for us single people. To fight for our minds and our hearts and our marriages. That these prayers would be evident as we enter into this most holy union; that we would be marked and set apart.
I am single [for now].
But I represent a marriage.
I represent a family.
That family is fought for.
No comments:
Post a Comment